Science Songs

by Jonny Berliner

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released January 7, 2008

Produced by Jonny Berliner

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Track Name: Science Songs
Where are all the science songs?
Why is singing biochemistry wrong?
Where are all the science songs?
I’d like to know.

A hundred million love songs written every single day,
Is it just that love excites the same bit of the brain,
As m usic. That’s what the neuroscientists say,
Maybe they would change their minds, if they tested my brain,
My neurones fire rapidly when you talk psychology,
Seduce me with geology, cosmology, biology,
Sing to me electrons and kinetic energy,
Show me your hypothesis and then please tell me,

Where are all the science songs?
Why is singing astrophysics wrong?
Where are all the science songs?
I’d like to know.

Some people get their inspiration only from within,
Chemical imbalances underneath their skin,
Like anger and depression, just a dip in seratonin,
I prefer to talk about observables when I sing,
The rising of the oceans that is caused by global warming,
If Pluto is a planet or just a rock revolving.
The origins of species that are constantly evolving,
Its all so inspiring and interesting so tell me

Where are all the science songs?
Where have all the singing physicists gone ?
Where are all the science songs?
I’d like to know.

I tried to get a record deal but no label would bite,
They said there was no market for a geek and they were right,
My first release was on the mating habits of trilobites,
But nobody would buy it, don’t know why, I thought they might,
I sent songs to the radio, I sent them to TV,
I watched and listened hoping, waiting all in vain you see,
I never got transmitted electromagnetically,
But now I’ve found a science show who don’t mind playing me so,

Here are all the science songs,
Why is singing biochemistry wrong?
Here are all the science songs?
On a science show.
Track Name: Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle
The quantum world can be a touch absurd,
Describable in numbers but nonsense in words,
Where waves are really particles,
And particles are blurry,
What can we infer from all of this.

Everett said that there are infinite realities,
The Copenhagen explanations sounds like insanity,
With consciousness effecting ,
Wavy particle dualities,
But the actualities are rather mysterious,

There is a principle that there ain't no denying
So learn from Werner Heisenberg and you will be flying
If you want a formula that you can rely on,
Then I got one for you.

With Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle you can be uncertain for sure,
With Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle you know where you are and what's more,
If you know where you are, you can't know your momentum \ ,
Even if you're Niels Bohr (he's smart),
But you can certainly be certain how uncertain you are sir,
With Heisenberg's Uncertainty Law

When you are measuring little things,
There's a limit to how accurate you're measuring,
And its defined by an equation,
And the equation really swings,
So I'll sing it and you can see.

The standard deviation of the Postion's imprecision,
Times the standard deviation of the momentum's imprecision,
Is greater than or equal to
Plancks constant over 2
It s the same for time and energy
Track Name: Particle Physics
If I could be the captain of a subatomic submarine,
I’d dive into an atom just to find the fundamentalest things,
Little chunks of matter that are strange and full of charm,
Some particles have charge, you know and some can do no harm.
Some can carry forces and some we’ve never found,
And some we have invented just to make our theories sound,

You got electrons, positrons, gravitons and Photons,
Hadrons, Kaons, Pions and Protons,
Leptons, Neutrons, Baryons and Bosons,
Fermions, Mesons, Neutrinos and,
W particles, Z particles,
Tau, Psi, Higgs and Alpha particles
Sigma Particles, Lambda Particles,
Eta and Omega Particles
Charged particles, charming particles,
Up, down, Strange and Spinning particles,
Bottomonium
Muons, and Gluons and quarks, Huh!

Somewhere underground there is a very, very big machine,
Smashing up these particles with lots and lots of energy
It must get quite repetitive but it’s all that they can do,
So that every now and then they find a finding that is new,
By deciphering the squiggles that are often left behind,
In the bubble chamber and here’s what they might find.
Track Name: Dark Matter
When you look up at the sky at night, you’re seeing a mystery,
The physicists are in a twist, ‘bout the forming of galaxies,
It’s a very heavy issue, it’s an issue of gravity,
It’s a dark dark matter.

There needs to be a substance that we’re just not detecting,
But it’s hard to find material that just ain’t reflecting,
Or maybe our theories just need some correcting,
It’s a dark dark matter,

So what does it feel like, how does it smell?
If you had some in a bucket how could you tell?
Could you sit on it or sculpt it or eat it as well?
It’s a dark dark matter.

No they haven’t got a clue what the stuff consists of,
Its not made from any particles that they have a list of,
And now it’s really pissing all the cosmologists off,
It’s a dark dark matter.

So what does it feel like, how does it smell?
If you had some in a bucket how could you tell?
Could you sit on it or sculpt it or eat it as well?
It’s a dark dark matter.

Well they’ve found that finding evidence is fairly demanding,
Its stretched us to limits of our understanding,
And then it opened up a can of worms bout why the universe is still expanding
(at an accelerating rate)
It’s a dark dark dark dark dark dark dark dark matter
Track Name: Evolution of Man
A few billion years ago the world had just begun
Some molecules sat, replicating, gaily, in the sun,
And every day, some cosmic rays would set their replicating all astray,
And off they went to wend their way, on the evolution of man, and woman.

And after a billion years the molecule had grown,
Mutated into RNA all upon its own,
And soon it changed to DNA, then Eubacteria and archaea,
And I don’t have a clue what they are, in the evolution of man and woman.

So then we were just unicellular beings in the sea,
We fused ourselves with mitochondria to get energy,
Evolving went from leaps to bounds, the greatest slime mould to be found,
In the multicellular and astounding evolution of man and woman.

We soon evolved a body shape, a simple one at that,
Just a head and tail, we were wormy things and flat,
We didn’t have a backbone yet, we were still invertebrate,
But soon a backbone’s what we’d get, in the evolution of man and woman

Now we had a skeleton we’d swim with style and grace,
But vegetation had turned the land to a green and lovely place,
And since we were evolving still, we grew some legs and lost our gills,
Amphibious life on land was brill, in the evolution of man and woman.

We became warm blooded so we grew ourselves some fur,
And scurried round like little mice cos that’s what we were,
But it was hard to grow some more, that’s because the dinosaurs,
Would eat us up, there’d be no more evolution of man and woman.

One day a mighty meteor came down from out the sky,
And killed those nasty dinosaurs so the micey things could thrive,
So everything mammalian, grew bigger almost daily and,
You just ask a palaeontologist ‘bout the evolution of man and woman.

Soon our furry ancestors were swinging in the trees,
Eating fruit and looking cute and swinging merrily,
But swinging didn’t work at all, so we started walking tall,
Opposed our thumbs, lost fur and all, and we evolved into man and woman

And this is where our story starts drawing to a close,
We evolved a great big brain and started wearing clothes,
And we’ll evolve some more I think, if we don’t make ourselves extinct
And even though I’ve been succinct, That’s the evolution of man
Track Name: The Future
The Future

We'll all be driving flying electric cars in the future, in the future,
Using stem cells to grow ourselves new arms in the future, in the future,
We'll have our ipods and our telephones implanted deep within our bones,
With holiday homes on the moon and Mars,
In the future, in the future, in the future.

We'll all be eating pills instead of meals, in the future, in the future,
And cyber sex will feel a lot more real in the future, in the future,
We'll have designer babies, we'll invent a cure for rabies,
And maybe e can reinvent the wheel,
In the future, in the future, in the future,

The future may be wonderful,
The future may be terrible,
The future is inevitable,
The future!

We'll be drowning when the water levels rise in the future, in the future,
And only folks who live on mountains will survive in the future, in the future,
And we'll never meet no aliens 'cos they're too far away,
But then we may work out how to warp the speed of light.
In the future, in the future, in the future.

The future may be wonderful,
The future may be terrible,
The future is inevitable,
The future!

We'll use only robot soldiers to fight wars in the future, in the future,
And that way no one has to die for any cause in the future, in the future,
And while the battles are a-raging we'll invent a cure for aging,
And then kill ourselves with nuclear bombs for sure,
In the future, in the future, in the future,